Gosh, it's been a long long time since I sat down at this computer with ideas to write about; things to say; recipes to share; new products to review!!! I feel sort of like I'm doing something very out of the sorts right now!
I still, to this moment, have nothing really to say or write about! I just thought I owe it to the small readership that I have!?? And because, well, it was just Mother's Day.
There was something fun about writing to NOBODY back in the day - when nobody knew about my blog - I would write and write and come up with really great topics and substance! Then, suddenly, when I realized that more people started reading my blog, I felt a little more pressure, more afraid to really say what I felt. I was sort of like "oh no, people are reading all my thoughts and opinions? YIKES, what if they don't agree or are annoyed by what I'm saying?" And so I share more food and recipes than trains of thought, so to speak.
I'm some place in between. I'm in a moment of "I don't really care!" I don't really care what others think right now and for no apparent reason. I feel more MYSELF these days. Meaning, I am who I am and I don't really feel a need to pretend otherwise. Not that I ever did that before. But to some degree I felt a need to make sure my recipes and my posts wouldn't offend people or push away readers! I felt like I had a theme going here and that if I veered from that, I would get a "tisk tisk" and maybe a few gasps. I didn't want that so every post followed a sort of "guideline" so to speak.
Why such fear, I wondered? Well, let me tell you, moms are often judgmental. And I had no idea that the mom club was so exclusive to some degree.
Have you noticed that so so many moms are ANGRY because they are constantly being "judged"? Part of me is sad and mad that people are judging, but if you really think about it, no matter who you are and how "righteous" you are, you are JUDGING! I guess what I'm trying to say is "you are constantly being judged and no matter what you say, YOU ARE JUDGING TOO!"
Hmmm, still doesn't make sense? What I mean is "just get over it, you are judging and YES, you're being judged, that's what women do BEST and it doesn't mean we can't have to sit and have a glass of wine together or have a good laugh about baby poop together!"
I read a sad article awhile back about a women who literally says "stop breast feeding your children, you'll be doing your kids a favor!" This woman was angry that she felt BAD for not breast feeding! So in return she wrote a published article that basically said "Screw you breast feeding moms. I don't breast feed, stop judging me, my kids are fine and to all other moms - you should stop too {it's too inconvenient}!" It was crazy and she was serious. It was published in a very big online mag.
Then, coincidentally, I read an article speaking out against moms judging. A woman was talking about fast food! She felt "guilty" for taking her kids through the drive through and was tired of feeling guilty! Part of me wanted to say "yay!!!! Speak out!! You should speak out! You should be PROUD of everything you do - don't feel bad about it!" Right?
But there was this other judging voice inside me that said "but wait, is she proud of feeding her kids McDonalds? Or is she just angry right now that people are judging her past actions?"
All of this nonsense not only made me sad but it also sort of paralyzed me! I do this blog because I want to. I honestly don't want to ever offend a mom that doesn't do things the way I do! If you have plastic toys and not wood ones, it's OKAY! I really sort of hit a wall and thought to myself "oh gosh! have I been making people feel judged or less of a mom just by posting healthy recipes?" I REALLY REALLY hope not.
I am very passionate that food can help children and I want to share recipes that WOW friends and family! I don't think I'm any better mom than anybody else. I don't think I'm doing things right and other moms are doing things wrong. I ALWAYS hope to learn stuff from champion moms who have been at it for years now! I just realized that there was mommy and me yoga class at a nearby favorite spot! I had no idea. I learn stuff every day from moms - moms that eat at McDonalds or who have scheduled C-Sections or breastfeed until their child is 4, or eat all organic foods, or had home births, or who go to CHURCH or who are getting surgery to lose baby weight or who don't vaccinate their kids - I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MOMS OUT THERE!!!!!
I really do! I don't care what you decide to do with your family. Most moms I know care so much about their kids and family that whatever it is they are doing - they have thought about it or haven't {but are fed up} and I trust them as moms and as women that they are doing their best in their own minds and are doing what they have to in order to be a good parent! We all make mistakes and poor decisions at times and have to face the regret and repercussions. If you think you've never been wrong as a parent, well, then that's a little strange {yes, that was a judgment I guess}.
I am not even married and I have two kids!!! You don't think I get judged EVERY SINGLE DAY?? I have a baby with a man that isn't my husband!? We all are vegetarians in my family except my oldest child?! You don't think I'm constantly being hated on and judged? Well, I didn't know I was, until I became a parents.
SO PLEASE can we all realize here that we are all moms! We have a TON in common! We all have a similar goal in life - to raise AMAZING, healthy, happy {and manageable} kids that SHARE and that give back!
HA! Can't we all dream? {wink}
I hope this post finds you all well!
Happy Belated Mother's Day to all of you! Not sure I said it before! CHEERS
LOVE to Mothers all over the world! And THANK YOU for giving up your life to not only have babies and care for them but to also be good wives, girlfriends, or partners! I used the photo that I did {above} to make this point. This blog is not only about being a mom but about how hard it can be to wear MANY hats!
p.s. I've also been super busy throwing party after party for friends and family. My sons had their 1st and 2nd year bday party together. I went to CABO, It was amazing. I also threw an engagement party and a bachelorette weekend all in these past few weeks! It was rewarding, but time consuming, hence my lack of blog posts! I'm sure all you moms can understand.
Kara
so.. i am FAR from being a mother, but i love coming to blogs like this to learn and think about things that i want for my future children. one of the reasons i follow your blog is because you seem to make me think about things that i haven't thought of before... such as vaccinating or not.... and so do those who comment on your page. i think as women we all have so much to learn from one another, and i thank you for all of your advice and personal stories and what not... love love love you for it!
Juli Novotny
THANKS Kara! That makes me feel GREAT!
AndreaD
THANK YOU for writing this post!! Excellent job! I had no idea you weren't married, but hey- rock it - you are one STUNNING couple with beautiful healthy kids! Yay you!
Tonya
Wonderful blog posting! I appreciate the candor and (pardon the pun) raw-ness of it. Thanks, Juli!
Since becoming a mother, I constantly feel judged and it's a new feeling for me and one that I don't appreciate at all, but I realize is part of the territory. Our children are an extension of ourselves, so I suppose it's natural.
I think you are an awesome mom and just because you and I are neighbors, we are going to do things differently (not better or worse) from one another and that's okay.
Thanks, again for a great post and blog. Keep up the fabulous work here and on the mom front and don't ever apologize for being Y-O-U!
xoxo
t.gray
i love this. i really do. i just hate all the mommy wars out there. i was looking for a chicken pox party for my girls about a month ago and the majority of my "mama friends" talked s__t about it for days. ugh.
i read the book: the 4 agreements about five or so years ago. changed my life. never make assumptions was a big lesson for me. the act of judging is natural but how you choose to process that information is entirely up to you.
thank you for the post, juli.
Juli Novotny
@tiffany - haha. wes saw my post and was like "wow...you went off...and then on and on and on" i was thinking "oh, GREAT!!!" oh well! it's my thoughts and very much true.
LOVE the Four Agreements!!!!! you're the sweetest. chickenpox party is a GREAT idea...thanks for the comment.