Many Thanks & Lots of Love

I was at the park yesterday, super early, with my little munchkins. We were the only ones there except for two young fathers and their, I'd guess, 9 year old sons. 

The guys were playing tag, racing around the park. At one point, one of the boys ran over to his dad and dumped sand down his shirt! Despite being totally irritated with the annoying sand in his shorts and all over his back, he was laughing. Then suddenly his laughing son tripped and fell pretty hard, scraped his knee and was holding back tears. In that split second the mood changed. His dad sort of chuckled as he casually walked over to offer his son a hand.

"Don't LAUGH." The boy shouted at the top of his lungs, "It's not funny, I HATE this park!" He said, standing up and walking away. His dad, still pulling on his shirt to get the sand out says, "that's what you get for putting sand down my shirt. It's called KARMA!!" And they kept walking. Smiling. And everybody sort of moved on with their day. 

Watching the event unfold was interesting on so many levels. Wes, my sons' dad, would have handled that scenerio the EXACT same way. Yet, as a mom, I would have handled that scenario completely differently. And not to mention, my son would most likely never have put sand down my shirt. Because I'm his mom. It was an experience that has stuck in my head. An experience only a DAD could have with his son. It was a moment, for me, of assurance and clarity: I couldn't raise my sons alone without the help of their dad. 

Dads and moms might not realize that by just hanging out with their sons, they are TEACHING them priceless lessons, social interaction, giving them confidence, teaching them to grow up strong and independent. Something that Mom just can't do. Period. By the mere fact that we are NOT boys.

I watched my Mom raise my sister and me without a "man" around. If you've read any of my past long-winded posts, you'll know that I've grown up with a pretty indifferent and maybe cynical view on the role of the Men/Father/Husband because of this. I have seen so many of them abandon their kids or selflessly drink their problems away or cheat and lie. Because of this I really have only EVER trusted the females in my life. At least, until now. {I know, this sounds pretty heavy, but I'm just being honest and I don't really think I'm alone here}!

As I'm growing up, I'm watching my friends get married to some amazing men. And now these guys are becoming wonderful Fathers - I'm not surprised. And even more importantly, I am seeing my sons' Father influence my boys in ways I could never do! Just talking to them. Laughing with them. Guiding them. Teaching them things like work ethic. Sports. Sex. Failure. Success. Attitude. Toughness. All of those things. In ways I wouldn't be able to do.

The fact that I'm now RAISING boys to become men. Fathers. Husbands. Talk about scary and a LOT of pressure!!! I have to teach them something I know nothing about. Something I haven't really been proud of growing up: How to be a MAN. Wow, the irony.  

But, it's healthy for me to conquere these FEARS and create my own reality and my own life despite the many possible outcomes. Trusting Wes to be there for me and my two boys has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. I never even realized I had these cynical outlooks until I turned 28 and was pregnant with my first son.

Thank you, Wes, for not letting me down, despite my doubts and fears at times. Thanks for being there for our sons in ways that I never knew possible. I have no doubt you will be the most important, strong, wonderful role model and figure in their lives forever. That is something no money can buy. And a gift to me that is beyond words {insert my tears falling on keyboard as I type}. I'm proud to be honoring that today. 

My outlook on Men/Husbands/Dads has forever changed because of you. Thank You. And my boys thank you too. 

And a BIG thanks to all of you Husbands and Dads who are there for their kids in these ways. For doing the dirty work at times, or even just being there with us while we do it. Having somebody to just experience life with is special enough. 

I can speak for a lot of moms out there too when I say SORRY for being hard on you sometimes by pointing all those things you DON'T do because even if those things DO exist {wink} doing so minimizes all that you DO do. 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! We love you.